Terms and Conditions

1. Introduction

The following terms and conditions apply to the entirety of things that are and will be, hereinafter to be referred to as Life™. The person living Life™ shall be referred to as “You”. Any god(s) and/or (super)natural force(s) responsible for creating and guiding Life™ shall be referred to as “Nothing and no one”.

In living Life™ you are deemed to have read and agreed to the following terms and conditions:

2. Rights

You have the right to unlimited expectations, including, but not limited to, love, health and musical talent. Should Life™ not fulfill these expectations, you may demand compensation from “Nothing and no one”, who will enhance your life with additional obstacles and little annoyances.

3. Obligations

You are obliged to either give personal meaning to Life™ or discover the goal that is predetermined by “Nothing and no one”. Thereafter you shall strive to live in accordance with said meaning or goal. Any unmet expectations in section 2 shall in no way diminish this obligation.

4. Termination

Life™ shall end at a time determined by “Nothing and no one”. You may object to the exact timing by stating your arguments. Examples include, but are not limited to, the following: heartbroken next of kin, an uncompleted musical career, or an outdated testament, in which you pass your entire wealth on to an ex partner. These arguments will be thoughtfully considered by “Nothing and no one”. Expectations in section 2 or exceptionally deep meaning in section 3 shall in no way be of any influence.

5. Continuation

Continuation of Life™ in any other form or dimension is beyond the scope of these Terms and Conditions.

woah so this is the shit i had to apply to before getting struck by that giant bus?Everything. The ways of the world.So What am I commiting to here?