| I rarely rant. Mostly, I’m quite placid. Last week as some would remember, I drove to Ikea in Croydon. Bought my sis a load of gear, and for myself, a dinky little alarm clock resembling solid titanium but which actually is plastic. Made in Taiwan, it says on the back. Well, earlier, some playful family member set the alarm to go off at 1.30. It clattered so loudly, I thought the Second Coming had arrived. Bleary eyed, headache still thumping behind my forehead, I tried to stop it - but would it stop? Whaddayathink? Desperate, I opened a large pot of aqueous cream and jammed the beast inside. By this time, Tom was well awake and just as grumpy as I. The alarm wouldn’t stop doing my head in so I got up, opened the window and chucked the whole lot outside. But you’d think, “Ahh, Twi did the right thing - well done girl!” But no. It only set the intruder alarms off and they’re still ringing cos I can’t find the ****ng switch to dumb them down, and soon the fire brigade will arrive. . .
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