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To Crckdggsddbrds 		regret Crckdggsddbrds, 08 Jul 2026 00:15
when i first made this account i was basically neck deep into a really bad psychotic almost parasocial episode where i believed george harrison was going to save me if i were to kill myself, which made me choose this beetle icon. i’m no longer in that state of mind, luckily, but the beetle still haunts me, making me remember all the terrible things i did to myself at that point of time. i wish i could go back and tell myself that everything would resolve soon enough…

To Crckdggsddbrds 		mom Crckdggsddbrds, 07 Jul 2026 17:21
ever since my mom became a senator, she’s been too busy to spend time with me. normally i wouldn’t mind it, since i’m very enthusiastic for her since she finally reached her dreams, but it’s been really isolating especially knowing i’m not in contact with a lot of my school friends. i’ve basically been living a second life on the internet to make up for that loneliness, but there are times where i’m pulled out of that trance and ask myself ‘what am i doing here?’

To Miz 		a little reminder Miz, 07 Jul 2026 13:52
to believe in yourself no matter what may come your way!

To Hellisthisroom 		Im embarassed Hellisthisroom, 06 Jul 2026 15:28
I thought this stuff would only post to my personal profile where nobody would see. I couldnt be more wrong. I am sorry if you see this negativity on your homepage. ignore and disregard it. I dont want pity. I just want medication.

To Amicus 		Textpost Diary Amicus, 07 Jul 2026 01:02
As somebody who is about your age, with a lot of the same feelings, please do not be embarrassed. I hope you get that medication, and an actual good psychiatrist to prescribe it.

To Amicus 		+, A Thought Amicus, 07 Jul 2026 01:04
A diary app I like to use for this sort of thing is EMMO, if that suggestion helps.

To Hellisthisroom 		070620226 6 Hellisthisroom, 06 Jul 2026 15:06
sleep the weeks away. the weeks really pass me by, ive turned 18 last month and i hated it. i hate being this age and feeling like i have these huge responsibilities to complete. i spent it with my parents again, even though i had some surprise birthday thing that my ex planned for me, i thought it wasn't even happening after we broke up because of how awkward we were. it felt like a going away party. its hot here everyday, its humid, so im inside most of the time. i feel like ive turned into a

To Hellisthisroom 		07062026 Hellisthisroom, 06 Jul 2026 15:03
stay in a mental hospital for a while, at least until the summers over, or cut myself and bleed out in some forest far away from here. the deer can eat me for gods sake.

college starts in a month, i havent even applied. to be fair my mom said to not apply anywhere because she had a feeling we were moving states, so i didnt. i dont want to fucking go to this community college. ive applied to probably 30 places and none have responded or they flat out denied me. i dont fucking care cuz i wanna...

To Hellisthisroom 		07062026 4 Hellisthisroom, 06 Jul 2026 15:00
i used to enjoy and romanticize the mundane every day in that small midwest town. now im in a bigger city, charm nowhere to be found, and all the people here i dont like. bigger paychecks equal a bigger house in a new state, which ruins my chances of making genuine friendships because im away from everyone. a couple do check in on me, which im grateful for thankfully. its so lonely in this town, in this room. i fucking hate it here. my plans were to run away back to the midwest,...

To Hellisthisroom 		07062026 2 Hellisthisroom, 06 Jul 2026 14:54
i havent truly felt genuine happiness in a while. ive moved again, because of the fucking government, the root of all evil in this demented country. im so fucking lonely. i deleted all social media because every constant reminder of everyone hanging out without me hurt like a hundred daggers to the back. and i finally felt true happiness in that house. in that town. my camera, my friends, were reminders and motivations to get out of bed in the morning. it is now a chore to do.

To Hellisthisroom 		07062026 1 Hellisthisroom, 06 Jul 2026 14:50
when moving, i lost my journal. its been a month and i still havent found it. none of my friends know of this site so might as well come on here and talk about my feelings. to be honest, i drafted a suicide letter last night. i wrote all of my shortcomings, to my parents, to the world, to the universe. the only thing stopping me from actually doing it is this vivid vision i get of my parents seeing my dead body, i see it from an aerial view akin to a movie, which hurts more than the cuts.

To Notyou 		? Notyou, 06 Jul 2026 04:31
Why do some people genuinely not care when you talk to them, making new friends is such a weird gamble of questions, which ones would make someone talk more n' stuff. its so awkward, I can't deal with one sided awkwardness. Please learn to ask questions back. I get it if ya don't wanna talk man.


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